Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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