Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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