Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
