well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize