I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
