Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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