omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
