the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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