Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
