the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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