i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
