so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
