I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
pray to the hookup gods
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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