I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
