I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
