There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
