Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You ate ashes out of my bong
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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