I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
