I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
