yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
