I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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