I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
