ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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