Whod you bang
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
