ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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