Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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