the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
