He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
