you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
