It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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