So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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