lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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