Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
