the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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