would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
