that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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