Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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