he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
