Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
