i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
