i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
look no pants
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm passing your future prison.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
