I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
