I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
