And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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