weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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