____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
