Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize