her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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