Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
