Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize