i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
