You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize